Jersans Posted September 19, 2016 at 06:58 PM Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 at 06:58 PM Hey guys, I am not really sure if this is the right place. But I think a lot of you are veterans and some of you may have some issues with what happened as well, it ain't easy. So let me try to explain what made me write this post. A guy I know served in the military and has now after his service in Afghanistan some serious problems with adjusting to real life. Basically he has a wife, two kids and a house but also a thing for 'tha drink' and can't skip out of it. Refuses any help or assistance, has the fears and the nightmares and the shakes but cannot escape them with or without drinking. He talks to me. But I cannot help him. What do I tell him? He's also living away from home so help isn't available but this man served his country and I don't feel that he should end in some drunken stuper. If any of you have any advice on where I should quietly try to guide him for some help. Let me know. Thanks, Jersans. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=VG= BLuDKLoT Posted September 19, 2016 at 08:01 PM Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 at 08:01 PM well bro if he has a famiy and people that care about him then they should be doing something. Maybe there us a military recruiting office or military outpost that you can contact see if they have any programs or ideas. But it is hard to get someone help when they aren't interested in getting any help themselves. JThis a hard one to answer bro, but I think that it's admirable you're a caring guy like that. Maybe if you just confront him about his drinking and show him what you're seeing he might get another perspective. Keep me updated. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=VG= m823us Posted September 20, 2016 at 02:49 AM Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 at 02:49 AM But it's tough to go in for a person to change their drinking habit if that's what they want to do. They are suffering from alcohol withdrawal syndrome and that causes people to shake sometimes. Something that I offered to my substance users is AA. They have a lot of resources and a lot of information on how to help. There are also state holiness to help with keeping sober and "recovery centers" in major areas that can assist with this. Like I said, the most difficult part is them, the individual wanting to see a change. We unfortunatly, have a lot of people that cope with issues, mental or not with substances because it is easier. Vet centers are a great resource as well, but getting people to use them is tough. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force him to drink it. Positive thinking and empowerment usually are starting points, you sound like you have a therapeutic relationship with him. Try to find some hobbies or interests and get some motivation from seeing what he enjoys. This may be beneficial or it may not be. Good luck, this is not an easy task my friend -m8 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest BCO Posted September 20, 2016 at 03:28 PM Guest Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 at 03:28 PM Until the man realizes he has issues, not much can be done. I have an anxiety problem with crowded places, always looking for the bad guys in the crowd. So I can't even enjoy a concert, or anything that compares to the numbers of people present during. Dreams, smells, muslims, and certain noises all bring me back to a place I'd rather not be. What he has to realize is, his behavior is not normal in the sense of who he was. We come home different, it's part of the course. If he's still a service member, have the wife or yourself call his CO and bring him/her up to speed. If he's homicidal or suicidal make the call to whomever needs to be called. It took me two years to realize help was needed. Until then I thought it was an assimilation thing and normal. Considering I've been on other deployments and came home without the issues I have today. If you have any questions/concerns, I'm always down in the Brit Lounge. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=VG= Orracis Posted September 21, 2016 at 07:54 PM Report Share Posted September 21, 2016 at 07:54 PM The best thing I can offer is the same thing I tell my brothers, the key word in that f*cked up disorder is POST! We are taught to always adapt and overcome so as hard as it is we need to leave the demons in the past. Sure they sneak up and ambush you sometimes, but you stomp them back with HEALTHY addictions and joyful activities. I would just be real with your friend. Chances are he is getting all the "beat around the bush" treatment currently. Hope this helps. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jersans Posted September 22, 2016 at 06:23 PM Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2016 at 06:23 PM Thanks for the feedback guys. Those are all really helpful. It's much appreciated. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mectus11 Posted September 23, 2016 at 09:20 AM Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 at 09:20 AM If you need a person to talk to and dump stuff off your chest man, I'm here for you, I'm a good listener. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero_tolerance_s Posted September 23, 2016 at 08:55 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 at 08:55 PM On 9/19/2016 at 9:58 PM, Jersans said: Hey guys, I am not really sure if this is the right place. But I think a lot of you are veterans and some of you may have some issues with what happened as well, it ain't easy. So let me try to explain what made me write this post. A guy I know served in the military and has now after his service in Afghanistan some serious problems with adjusting to real life. Basically he has a wife, two kids and a house but also a thing for 'tha drink' and can't skip out of it. Refuses any help or assistance, has the fears and the nightmares and the shakes but cannot escape them with or without drinking. He talks to me. But I cannot help him. What do I tell him? He's also living away from home so help isn't available but this man served his country and I don't feel that he should end in some drunken stuper. If any of you have any advice on where I should quietly try to guide him for some help. Let me know. Thanks, Jersans. IMO this is not a subject of discussion for a gaming forum. Doing this, tells me that you have no real respect for veterans and PTSD nor you that you know what are you talking about. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=VG= SemlerPDX Posted September 23, 2016 at 11:21 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 at 11:21 PM 2 hours ago, zero_tolerance_s said: IMO this is not a subject of discussion for a gaming forum. Doing this, tells me that you have no real respect for veterans and PTSD nor you that you know what are you talking about. So, one of our friends, one of our peers here at VG asks for some pointers and advice on something that is difficult, and you want to contribute to the discussion by telling him that it appears to you that he has no real respect for veterans or PTSD, and that he doesn't know what he is talking about (in his report of his friends behavior, which is all he seemed to write about, that, and his question about what he should do to help his friend...) because he asked his friends here as opposed to some forum somewhere he is unfamiliar with? Looks like he found a few people who've actually dealt with it personally, and some people in a profession that puts them in a position to offer very sound advice. I find the replies to his post very helpful, sounds like he's got some friends here (and some people he may not even know yet like BCO) who are happy to point him in the right direction and encourage him to help his friend out as he is able. I've always appreciated the fact that the VG Community is more than just a gaming forum, more than random gamers mashing buttons, and more of an extended group of friends, and I'm sure Jersans does as well after hearing the support of his peers in the above posts. Posts even including a reply from a VG guy who never posts on the forums, but took the time to show some support and provide some words for this particular thread, so much is his support for those dealing with PTSD. But that's just IMO, I guess, cuz we all have different opinions about whether we should help each other out all supportive like, or whether we should call each other out for not knowing what they are talking about like some kind of dick. I guess I just fall into the former category. Pardon my disdain and my unhelpful post in this thread. P.S. I cannot believe this needs to be said, but... VG will decide what is an appropriate subject of discussion on the VG Community forums, thank you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidtrock Posted September 26, 2016 at 10:23 PM Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 at 10:23 PM Jersans, I feel for your friend, personally. I am sober now two years and 3 days. I was medically retired after returning from Iraq in 2004! That's how long it took me to figure out my deal and what I needed to do. I almost lost a marriage and friends and family in the ordeal. People posting prior are right, until your friend acknowledges for himself and seeks the help, it ain't happening. Just be there for him, always. That's what a good friend, dare I say brother, does. Believe me, it is appreciated and makes a difference. Good luck and be well. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
=VG= HaterOneActual Posted September 27, 2016 at 03:32 PM Report Share Posted September 27, 2016 at 03:32 PM @zero_tolerance_s This kind of gaming has been proven to help with war related PTSD symptoms. There are articles all over the web that talk about the usefulness of games like PR. I wouldn't be surprised if there were members of VG that us it for this purpose. That being said, I believe this forum is a great place for this conversation. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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