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Reason I have not been around.


ViciousMC

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Well guys it is really simple. I was playing so much I was not able to see what was happening at my home. It was pushing my wife away and about a month ago she told me she couldn't do it anymore and separated from me in an emotional sense. We still live together and sleep in the same bed and still share bills for the most part but there is a distinct possibility we will not stay together. Let me give you guys more insight on why this has happened. My day would consist of me waking up at 9 to 9:30 am everyday so I could just make it to work on time to work my sift and then come home and go directly to my computer and spend until around 12am to 3am playing games and ignoring my family for the most part. She put up with it for 4 years before she is where she is now. Well I have to say it was quite a wake up call and i really had to take a look at what the hell I was doing and not doing and for the last couple of weeks I have changed my schedule as I am sure you all have seen.

I now get up between 6:30am and 7 to help get my daughter up and make food for everyone and get my little one ready to go with my wife or to classes depending on the day. I go to work as usual but when I get off I no longer go to my computer but help my little one with any work that needs to be done and then do and dishes or laundry and clean up the house. I do all of this because I have the time and she is worth it and really I should have been doing it before but I will admit it, I was addicted to my computer big time. Well I will only be on after 9:30 pm and only for a couple of hours with rare exception. If my wife or family come to talk to me I will set my game aside or I will say, "Got to go guys, have fun." and I will be gone just like that. No more putting them off.

Well I know it is a lot here but I wanted to let you guys know what is up. I will be seeing you all around. Good games and see you on the battle field.

ViciousMC
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Brave post. Not easy to admit things like this in such an open forum. Thanks for sharing.

I'm sure most of us struggle with this sort of thing to some degree. I know that i've become a little distant at home over the last few months specifically (damn you falcon in all your colours and flavours!), and your post reminded me of what can be at stake. We shouldn't take anything for granted.

Thanks man! All the best...
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Hey man we can understand that. I was in that same boat a few years ago, like in 1998-2001 was when I went thru that shit. It was almost the same deal too. Women, can't live with them, can't tie them up until the comply, so good luck man. We'll be here. (unless my wife tries that shit again) So go get things right with your family, sounds like you're back on track! Good luck man.
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  • 2 weeks later...
Well things seem to be going in a positive direction. She went from saying she is just done and wants nothing more to do with me to she is willing to go to counseling. Hopefully in the future she will be able to turn her mind to finding more reasons to stay but only time will tell. All I can do is take it one day at a time and hope my changes will bring her around and she will stay. If not.........well I guess I will deal with that if and or when it happens.
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Okay, here's what I did and any guy can do it too.

Got married, had 3 kids, all while I was in the Army. I'm from CA and the wife is from NH. She was pretty meek and had no self-confidence when she was young. I met here in Germany while we were both active duty.

She got out when our second daughter was born overseas. I stayed in for 12ys until 92. Back then there wasn't alot of gaming going on, the big thing was the VIC20 and Amiga.

Got out of the service went to work. She hooked on at Target. She ended up in the cash office and eventually hooked on with Staples and became a GM, we were about 17ys into the marriage. I encouraged here to get into management as she was working her ass of being an associate for $8 an hr.

Anyways her confidence grew wildly and so did her hours, ha. That gave me lots of time after work back when Falcon came out. I didn't MP at all for 7-8yrs just a ton of SP. She's the one that bought me Falcon4.0 Binder addition for $70.

We ended up moving to TN about 6yrs ago. She didn't take a cut in pay, which was good and the marriage was, uh, okay. We bought a house(moral of the story shortly). She made a deal that since the economy was so much cheaper here than in CA that all I had to do was maintain the house, cook, clean all that stuff that she'd bring home the bacon. WOW, right up my alley. I always made time for my 3 girls which was a must and I loved them to death.

I ended up on the FreeFalcon Dev team, time went on a few years ago the marriage started going south, not crumbling, we just sort ended up living in the same house and tolerating each other. Now I had way more time, lol, to screw around.

I started MPing at the same time I was dev'ing. Now were at 28yrs into the marriage and we're still chugging along. She keeps me around because she likes to eat when she gets home, hahaha. I'm at the computer probably 16hrs of the day.

Now the moral of the story, make sure when you buy the house it's in both of your names, then she won't kick you out cause you get HALF. !mental

Vicious I know what you're going through so I figured a little humor was in order.

RAM22
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Lol, wow Ram. That is awesome and it did make me laugh. We have been together 12 years...almost 13 since we are still married. Things are looking up ever so slightly. It is slow going but unplugging right now seems to be helping. I will be back. I am a gamer. Just not as much. Besides, she really can't afford to live without me so she is kind of stuck. Not a good place to be but it might help start things going the right direction and seems to be doing just that.
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