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Hi I don't think I've ever made a introduction yet ever since I joined....

Condrad here no I'm not Russian that just my name for a very long time.
Reason I decided to post is when I just saw a post about someone complaining about how I do things as an Admin of the server.
even since I became an admin it seems I've been gathering hate from players.... I try to be non-bias on decisions but I'm actually guilty for dropping the Ban hammer to people who I see trolling or intentionally being an A**hole in the server.

I'm a pretty emotional person. I'm separated from my wife after I found her cheating on me. which lead me to hate people who do things for they're own fun even if other people are getting affected. that was all in the pass now but the feeling of hating selfish people still lingers in my mind. 

I have a toaster PC so my type of games are very limited. PR has been one of my favorite pass time. there was even a time that my pc died due to a bluescreen error and I thought I wont be able to play again... due to our situation right now in the pandemic I cant afford to buy a new PC so if this toaster dies I'm gonna be gone for a long time. things are just not going well with my life so far it is all an uphill battle. there are times I want to just end it due to constant stress and depression. playing games is just my way of coping with my problems...

True the years I have met a lot of good people in this server. I use to just run around with a Logi truck calling my self the "Logi squad" running around the map making FOB's supplying ground troups dropping repairs. I prefer a support gameplay most of the time. you'll sometimes see me teaching newbies how to play the game. ("Risiko still has the title of newbie friendly squad")  specially mentioning my 2 buddies Whiskey_Mike and Alucard. who always makes playing the game fun for me. there are other people to whom I'm not gonna mention coz there's too many xD 

back to the main topic.

yah I feel like ever since I became an admin people are more cautious around me. its like you cant be normal with them anymore. they fear you coz of your status or even hate you for doing what's right and upholding the server values. but even if I'm gaining hate I don't really mind it coz I care for this server and I will do what I can to keep those annoying people in line. so that the normal players can enjoy the game.

This it just glimpse of things about me but thank you for reading to the end.

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Hey Condrad! Glad to see you making an introduction, but you don’t need to prove yourself to us. We know you’re a good guy, we know you uphold this servers to it’s highest value and you do a great damn job at it! Anyone else that thinks otherwise is either someone who is already breaking the rules or jealous. 

 

I was talking to X0R the other day about you, seeing you drive around in the logi and just supporting the team so well, like you do every round. And I told him how much fun you’re to play with and you just have such a positive attitude, which I thank you for because it’s people like you that make me enjoy this game as much as I do. I would never have guessed what you are and have been going through, but I hope you’re fighting your battle hard and remember that this community is here for you, whenever or if ever you need us!

 

I am excited to play with you every morning when I get on and I’m excited for our future sessions. I hope you can eventually get the PC you want and you can join us in all the other games we love to play! Cheers for being a good guy, Condrad!

 

 

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Hey man, thanks for the intro!  And thanks for your help volunteering on the server as Admin.  We do our best to make sure everyone knows we're all equals here under the rules, but there will always be that disparity or difference between players and Admins.  All you can do is be the best Admin you can, keeping emotional reactions in check and acting with honor and integrity in support of the rules and the spirit of those rules on our server(s).

Haters gonna hate, but far more players appreciate the work you all do to help host a game where incidents are few and far between thanks to the attentive Admins who don't just drop ban hammers at the slightest infraction, but instead actually take some time to evaluate the situation and provide the benefit of the doubt as appropriate to all involved players.  Our escape here from real life at VG should never become some loathsome job we have to slog through, but a place where we can chill and have fun.  VG should be a place where we can deal with an incident, and get right back to playing our favorite game(s).  Hopefully, all these well established systems make "working" for VG easy, and not too much of a burden on you Admins.

If anyone ever wants to take a break and just be a player for a week/month/year, we can do that, and if/when someone feels like putting back on the VG tags or PR Admin role, we're more than happy to bring back on old members right where they left off (so long as they haven't been AWOL for too many years).  I won't name names, but there are several people here who have taken an extended break from VG, only to return in future.  Having a large team of Admins around here makes light work, and we can always ask each other to handle some things if we're off our game (I do it plenty, too.. I msg to m823us to handle VG, and I'm off for a few weeks/month).  It's less noticeable since I've not been playing many games lately, schoolin myself in programming, etc. but even I take extended breaks from VG from time to time, but not always leaving ... just letting others handle work and getting some chill time in.

Not sure if you have any counseling or psychology resources available to you, but if so, I highly recommend having a professional to talk to at least once a month as part of treatment for depression and just general life stuff.  It's a hell of a ride, and helps to have someone on your team who spends their career learning all sorts of strategies and skills that can help you live the life you want to live despite all the drama that we all go through, some more than others.  It really helped me through some rough times, but I will say that it took time to find a psychologist I could connect with and open up to, because the wrong person can make that difficult.  Keep that in mind if you go down this route, and keep an open mind to give it a try, to give some counselor or psychologist a try - and if it doesn't work out, try to find another one, try try again.  You are worth it, your good mental health is worth it.

 

Flash forward 20 years, and I am good friends with my ex-wife, a well working team dedicated to the common goal of making sure our (now grown) kid is raised up proper.  Wasn't always that way - there was a time where I wanted nothing more than to dance on her grave, but time heals all wounds, we just gotta keep our heads above water and keep moving forward in life towards what we want.

In the immortal words of The Beastie Boys, "You gotta fight for your right to PARTY!!"

 

 

 

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what :acute:they said.  The cool cats we meet in-game, like yourself, are one of the many reasons most of us keep coming back, so stay safe & stay cool bud. 

Can I get a logi though, I'm in a swamp with a spotty internet connection :b0209: , Sa muli nating pagkikita

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I never really open up like this before in a gaming community...
but thank you everyone for the positive replies. 

we're I live we're still on quarantine for more than 9months now. and since then I couldn't get back to work. its really hard to make a living now a days... 

but yah thank you everyone.

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For the admin-related stuff: meh, haters gonna hate. We welcome people from all over the globe, so statistically a portion of them will not like us. Whoopsie daisie. It's true that many players see you differently once you're an admin, but this differs between players. Some give 0 fucks and some nearly address you as Mr. Admin (I do approve, can we get this as a standard? Pliz?). Some agree with our principles and some don't; some speak up and others don't. You'll get more complaints in the future, that simply comes with the 'job' :P

That's why we we're all here to look out for our peers and to nudge each other to the 'right admin path' if someone loses track. Not that this was needed in that reported case, you handled that round impeccably :beach:

=VG= can proudly unite many good-hearted gamers who find their 'game home' here, like yourself. Those are the ones we do it for!

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1 hour ago, X0R said:

 

Can I get a logi though, I'm in a swamp with a spotty internet connection :b0209: , Sa muli nating pagkikita

well my area is defiantly looking like swamp since the last typhoon came days ago. many  people still clearing out the mud it left behind from the flood. lol that last sentence did you just googled that? xD

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2 hours ago, Condrad said:

I'm a pretty emotional person. I'm separated from my wife after I found her cheating on me. which lead me to hate people who do things for they're own fun even if other people are getting affected. that was all in the pass now but the feeling of hating selfish people still lingers in my mind. 

and that makes you a good admin. I know you as someone who is often emotionally involved but not reactionary. and as an admin you can treat "egofucker" very coldly. warn-kick-ban and if he starts to complain then you send him to the forum... and to all "good hearted" players you can talk...

I think we're very similar at this point. I also "hate" a lot... but I don't let it out. It starts with players who spam music via mumble and have no sense in bothering others, up to kit-stealers who give you a "haha, what you want to do against it?" to knifekills that happened "accidentally"... As a normal player, that bothered me a bit in places because you can't defend yourself and !R is helpful but often unsatisfactory, especially if the interferer continues... as admin, that has changed for me. the thought that i could make use of my power if need be makes me deal with it much more calmly. 

I don't want to name any names now, but we still have a few admins who are quite emotionally involved but weigh up before they let it out. and i think these are some of the best admins we have because they not only see what doesn’t run according to the rules but also assess the situation and the background.

2 hours ago, Condrad said:

I have a toaster PC so my type of games are very limited.

thats a win for pr ;p

2 hours ago, Condrad said:

there are times I want to just end it due to constant stress and depression.

dont! the respawn time in rl is much too long. i know its very hard to find some "good server" in rl but there is no reason to end the game, it can only be better. sometimes it's really like in pr. you are stuck with 3 players at 4 o'clock in the night on muttrah and ask yourself "what am I doing here?" and then 3-4 well-known players join in and it starts to work... and after the round you thought "wow, that was a really good match". you always have the best moments in life when you didn't expect them.

 

short story long:

i know the feeling of being hated. I am not necessarily what is called socially acceptable. i look a little bit different, do things that others don't understand and don't have much to do with mainstream, pop and consum. with this you are automatically perceived as a freak or even get hated. here is one of the few places where that doesn't matter. i speak very little in pr, seem to have an incomprehensible sense of humor and often say something when it is better to shut up. and for some reason they made me admin and then even a VG member... so either they're crazy or I'm not that wrong. I think it's a mix of both ...;P i have never told anyone in the global village private things or given information about myself for the reasons mentioned above. its different here.

and yes, as an admin you attract more attention. how often i had to read things like "watch out, binary is online" or as acro said "mr admin can you pls ..." but both come from the fact that for many you are "part of the server" and not just a player. I often only drive around with a logi truck to distribute crates or stand around in the main to watch the game because I enjoy accompanying the game as much as playing it myself.

 

 

3 hours ago, Condrad said:

mentioning my 2 buddies Whiskey_Mike and Alucard. who always makes playing the game fun for me.

 

2 hours ago, =VG= SemlerPDX said:

In the immortal words of The Beastie Boys, "You gotta fight for your right to PARTY!!"

WORD:ddd_01:

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6 minutes ago, =VG= 0100011000101 said:

I often only drive around with a logi truck to distribute crates or stand around in the main to watch the game because I enjoy accompanying the game as much as playing it myself.

I do that too sometimes. I don't feel like playing but want to hangout so I sit on the base with my BASE MP squad and just chat with the squad leads and do minimal in-game stuff while watching out for troublemakers.

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Condrad, remember when I asked you whether you would volunteer to become an admin for us? You were reluctant because you didn't want it to ruin your fun of the game, or words to that effect.

I said at the time its not a 24/7 responsibility, you also need to just enjoy and play the game yourself, ignore the shit flying around if you are tired and don't feel like being the bad-ass admin today. We have logs, so leave the trolls for someone else to deal with,. we will find them all and root them out eventually, they always screw up just give it time.

You turned out to be exactly what I thought you'd be; a solid admin. We develop a thick hide in time, its just part of becoming a better admin. Keep up the good work mate!

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 I never regretted being an admin for you guys its my way of giving back to the community. I'm not rich so I cant donate for the server so this is the best I can do to help. and I'm really grateful for the opportunity you guys gave me.

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You should ask golden, he was talking about buying gpu for Zee couple days ago :D

he might hit you up with something as well.
*that was a joke please*

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Hey Condrad! Very nice intro and it is always good to know more about your PR friends!

Anyway you are a good admin! I understand the frustration of being watched, but try and act like you don`t care about that. Fear is not always an enemy, use your power as you would and if they are afraid, that`s good, means they are afraid of breaking the rules, not you. If they are afraid of you they will always try and avoid you, sometimes won`t even talk to you. 

I felt the same when I became an admin, but trust me, whatever an admin does, =VG= or not, has a reason. Just know that is better not to admin when you don`t feel alright! I`ve learned that the hard way by warning and kicking people when I felt insulted. They are always seeking to play with our emotions and force us to kick them. Don`t measure your intellect with theirs when they are assholes, you are always a level ahead!

Nice to know more about you! Best of luck and see you in PR! :hi:

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